THE INCIDENT

CASE FILE: 08.17.08
SCENE: MACKEY HOUSE BATHROOM, KITCHEN, AND OUTSIDE
IMPORTANT CHARACTERS:

THE CULPRIT I

THE CULPRIT II

THE CONTRIBUTOR

THE FORGETTER, CRAZY LADY, CLEANER

THE REDEEMER

THE INSTRUMENTS THAT WERE HARMED IN THIS EVENT:

In this case there are many characters, parts and stories. Bear (or bare-how do you spell that for this situation?) with me, you're in for the long haul. It's worth it...

We had a great Sunday afternoon at the Mackey house. We even enjoyed a mid-day movie, College Road Trip. Now this movie is all about parents coming to terms with their children growing up and moving on. I was looking lovingly at my kids and even cried a little thinking of the day when they too would leave me:( Little did I know what they had in store for me).
Well, we had dinner and afterwards Christian thought she should strip down, diaper and all. She was walking around naked while I got the trash ready to go out. I heard her "poot" and asked her if she needed to potty. She said potty and then no so I went about my business. I figured I would take the trash out, come back, potty her, and then bathe her. Right? Well, please tell me I'm not the only one that gets caught up in what I'm doing and forget what I was supposed to be doing. I then took the trash out and noticed my roses needed to be pruned and some other bushes needed a trimming. Perfect timing since the trash was going out. I cut, cut, cut my merry little way through all those bushes often admiring my work while I didn't hear any screams from inside. Nice! That was short lived because Kaden came running out telling me Christian pooped and used his underwear to wipe it up. Really, Kaden? He tells me she was on the potty. REALLY KADEN? Wow, that's awesome. I'm so excited as I'm coming in. I'll try to summarize this. Basically, Christian pooped in the kitchen, brought her potty seat, Kaden's underwear, and the booty wipes in the kitchen. She cleaned it up, pretty well I might say, and took the wipes and underwear back to the bathroom. THEN, she thought a poor innocent little yellow bath ducky needed to go swimming. Yes, she sent the ducky swimming in the toilet and then flushed it down! When I come in she is proud to say, "MOMMY, DUCKY SCHWIMMIN'!" She pointed to the toilet and I knew my nightmare began.

So, I spend the next 20 minutes cleaning poop in the bathroom and off of the kitchen floor. I started to think about the toilet and told Kaden not to use it. I thought Rie heard me, but apparently she didn't. When I sent Rie to get pj's and school clothes ready she decided to make a pit stop in the bathroom. YEP! She was POOPING IN THE DUCKY POTTY. I know! I about died. "What are you doing my sweet, precious daughter?" I lovingly ask her. (Please don't ask her to vouch for me here). After a little heated moment she tries flushing, which doesn't work and THANKFULLY doesn't overflow. But, I did (weak tummies bypass this) have to dig out poopy toilet paper. Off I go to throw away all my clean up mess.

Oh no, I'm back outside and distracted again. I still have all the bush cuttings to clean up. I clean that up and decide they need watering. Yes, I'm doing this again. I decide Kaden should water my plants so he stays out of the bathroom (which he just finished asking me if he could go pee in there. Are you serious??!!) While I'm trying to drag the hose out, the reel falls over. Geez. What else? I go over and try to pull it up and RIP OFF THE HANDLE. Yep! Give me a break here! I call Kade outside to water the plants. He's excited and I'm thrilled to have one kid being productive and out of the bathroom.

I go back inside and try to work with the toilet and finish cleaning the kitchen floor a little more. I call my Dad to see what I can do or should I just call the plumber. I have one of those old plungers that just couldn't do the job. They decide to come over and give me some help. Yeah, help is on the way. That's when Kaden comes in and tells me he dropped the sprayer on the hose and BROKE IT. Yes! One more thing.

After an hour and a half at home with a potty problem Dad arrives. He spends 30 minutes plunging away and using the snake (that was new to me). Just when I told him to call it quits because I had to get the kids to bed he tries one more time and FIXES THE POTTY!!! Yippeee!!!! It's fixed. I'm pooped, need a VERY TALL drink and have nothing good on hand.

Don't worry, we all survived. And oddly enough, I'm not so teary eyed about them leaving for college. But, let me go check on those sweet little sleeping faces and I'm sure it will come right back.

COMBAT WARRIOR STILL M.I.A.: Poor little yellow ducky. We'll miss you little guy, we'll miss you!